Memories hold our hand, People let go.

Sometimes you need to put the past behind, and
the saddest aside. You need to forget everything
you ever felt; your feelings, your thoughts. Everything
that was ever there. Because you cant get hurt if you dont care, right?
or maybe its just when you least expect it, you start to think about how
that person made you laugh, how you feel when you're around them and then
you realize that after all this time, you cared about that
person more than you thought you did; OR maybe you should
hope for the best, prepare for the worst, expect nothing,
and you'll never get hurt, isnt that how that one saying goes?
You cant help missing someone. Wether its break ups, death,
torn apart friendship, ..or all of the above (some how?) its just impossible
to stop missing them, i mean.. until you can get them out of your mind.
But when you start concentrating on forgetting them, you find yourself
thinking about them more than you would be without the whole concentration.
Maybe im just rambling about "forgetting your past" .. but im trying to get
my point across. Its a new year, and everyone for sure has promising things
that let you know that 2009 is going to be different. Whether the difference
is bad or good, I guess that much is up to you. Nothing is ever as bad as it
seems unless you make it seem that way, you know? I saw it somewhere that
the key of change is to let go of fear. and that might make more sense
to you. Sometimes I wish I could pick out the bad memories that I want to forget
and some how press a delete button, and bam.. they are gone forever. But its
never going to be that simple. Life isnt hard so that it can tear you apart, its only
as hard as you can handle. It some how makes you stronger, whether you look at
it like that or not. So I guess the point is, you cant control the feelings. I mean,
even if they're wrong, theyre still there. Youre gunna live until you die.
If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you?
And if you did, would that change make your life better? Or would that change
ultimately break your heart? Or the heart of another? Would you choose an
entirely different path? Or would you change just one thing? Because that one thing
you changed would throw you off completely. Who knows, though. Everything
Ive done has gotten me to this exact point in time, and I wouldnt change a thing.
Not even the bad things, even though most of us would think we would like to.
Think about the world if we were all numb. We couldnt feel pain, whoopie.
But then we wouldnt feel joy either. So when I think about the past, where
its gotten me, how much pain its caused me, and how much joy its broughten,
it pretty much evens out. Now, the future - its coming. But stop making plans,
and start making sense.(haha, the academy is..) All these people with "trust issues"
and boundaries & fears, gosh, sooo overrated. Youve got one life, just like
everybody else. and yeah I realize that statement is overrated too, but if you
really think about it, it makes perfect sense. Your future is yours! People are going to
say dont do this, dont do that, but you know what your going to end up with?
Nothing to do. This isnt a note trying to motivate you to change the world or anything,
just something on my mind. I just dont think were all quite ready for what were about to be.
All im really trying to say is the past is the past for a reason. Dont let it stand in the way.
Move on, and get a hold of yourself. You wont always get that second chance. Much Love.